In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.
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Criteria Breakdown:
Task Response (TR):
- Strengths: You’ve addressed both parts of the question: reasons for the interest in historical research and methods to research it.
- Weaknesses: Your response lacks depth and development in explaining why people are interested in their home’s history. The points made are somewhat vague and not well elaborated. Additionally, the methods for researching are only briefly mentioned and could be more thoroughly discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- Strengths: There is a clear structure to your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
- Weaknesses: The essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. There are also issues with logical flow and sentence construction that make it harder to follow your ideas.
Lexical Resource (LR):
- Strengths: You use some relevant vocabulary related to the topic.
- Weaknesses: There are numerous spelling and word choice errors (“saga,” “route,” “avoide,” “let story,” etc.). The use of vocabulary is sometimes incorrect or unclear.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- Strengths: You attempt to use a range of grammatical structures.
- Weaknesses: There are frequent grammatical mistakes, including issues with article usage, verb tenses, and sentence fragments. This affects the overall readability and accuracy of the essay.
Suggestions for Improvement:
Improve Task Response:
- Clearly outline and elaborate on the reasons why people are interested in their home’s history. Use specific examples to support your points.
- Provide more detailed and practical methods for researching historical information, including potential resources like local archives, historical societies, or speaking with local historians.
Enhance Coherence and Cohesion:
- Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively (e.g., “Firstly,” “In addition,” “However,” “Therefore”).
- Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are relevant to that idea.
Expand Lexical Resource:
- Use a variety of vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly. Avoid repetition and ensure that you are using words in their correct context.
- Check for spelling and word choice errors. Consider using a thesaurus to find synonyms and diversify your vocabulary.
Correct Grammatical Errors:
- Focus on improving grammar by practicing common structures and reviewing rules for articles, verb tenses, and sentence formation.
- Proofread your essay to catch and correct mistakes before submission.
Example Revision:
Introduction: In recent years, an increasing number of people in various countries have shown a keen interest in uncovering the history of their homes or buildings. This growing curiosity can be attributed to several factors, and there are various methods available for researching this information.
Body Paragraph 1: One reason for this heightened interest is the desire to connect with one’s heritage. People often wish to learn about their ancestors and understand the historical context in which they lived. Additionally, by studying past mistakes or achievements, individuals can gain valuable insights and avoid repeating errors in their own lives. Furthermore, discovering interesting facts about the history of their home can foster a sense of pride and personal connection.
Body Paragraph 2: Researching the history of a home can be done through multiple avenues. Online resources, such as digital archives and historical databases, offer a wealth of information. For instance, a simple internet search using keywords related to the specific region or building name can yield useful results. Additionally, visiting local libraries or historical societies can provide access to physical records, such as old newspapers, maps, and documents. Engaging with local historians or long-time residents can also offer valuable insights.
Conclusion: In conclusion, technological advancements have made it easier than ever to explore the history of one’s home. By leveraging both online and offline resources, individuals can uncover fascinating details about their property’s past, which enhances their sense of connection and personal identity.
By addressing these aspects, your essay would become more structured, accurate, and engaging.
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